Life and Regret

To regret or to not regret-- that is the question. I've often struggled with the concept of regret. As a single woman in particular, I often wonder if I do (or even if I should) live a life without regret in regards to my past relationships.

Regrets are not to be confused with mistakes. Mistakes are universal--everyone makes them. Regret is not universal; just ask a handful of your friends. Some people live regretless lives, while others have plenty to go around.

I know I've made mistakes in my relationships. Probably too many to count. I've let people down, I've expected too much or too little, and I've made rash decisions that have hurt both me and the person I was with. There have been times when I've let my standards slide. None of these are things I can take back, and what's the point in wishing that I could?

It's a decision I've come to more recently, but it's been formed over time. I just don't believe in regret anymore. There is a Katherine Mansfield quote that says,

"Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in."

And it's true. I acknowledge my mistakes, don't get me wrong. But each and every bad decision I've made, each and every time I let my standards slip; I learned something invaluable. I'm flawed for sure, and have a past marked with mistakes. And those mistakes and the pain that came with them are what have made me who I am today.

I find that being single allows me to think about mistakes I've made, but I'm learning not to dwell on them. So believe what you want in regards to regret. As for me, I'm slowly but surely finding freedom in letting go and living without it.